Friend Friday: Blogger etiquette / Paying it forward

by byanika on 01/04/2011 · 35 comments

in Friend Friday,leopard


Hi Sweethearts!

This week the Friend Friday questions are all about lessons learned and rules of engagement for bloggers.

Guest posts are a good way to gain new exposure. What do you think is the appropriate way to go about securing a guest spot?

Personally I have not approached anyone asking them to guest post (yet), but I have written a few to help out fellow bloggers, and loved doing it. If I was going to approach someone asking them to do a guest post or collaborate with me in some way I would do it building on an already established connection with them. I would approach the blogger privately in an email and I would pitch them an idea that showed that I have an understanding of and respect for their work.  I would be more than happy to give fellow bloggers space chez moi! 

Leaving comments is essential to growing your blog. But how can you leave a comment without coming across as ‘Follow Me. Follow Me!’?

Approach leaving and answering comments as taking part in a conversation! Actually read the post you are commenting on. Keep your comment sincere and relevant to the post. Share a little! If I read a post that relates to one of my own I will leave a link for the blogger to check out if they like.

We’ve all gotten a mass email at one time or another asking for blog exposure, a link exchange, etc… But the mass emails don’t work. How do you make your email stand out from the crowd?

When I approach a fellow blogger it is because I want to communicate something to them, get to know them, connect with them,  spread the love for them, not to promote my self. In short, dare to reach out, keep your intention true, be respectful and check your spelling.

 In interacting with other bloggers where do you draw the line between seeking support and begging for exposure?

You know, for me blogging is all about connecting, about building and taking part in a community, just like it is in my real life. I have learned not to be shy about giving my posts a tweet or two and sharing them on my Facebook-page, but I don`t just share and tweet my own posts, I spend most of my time online commenting on, tweeting and sharing other bloggers post.  

To make sure my blog is easily accessible I make sure to leave links for my blog and Twitter when I comment and I am an active member of IFB, the Full Time Fabulous Community and the Friday Friend Community. I am so grateful to Jennine, Kristy Elena and Katy Rose for creating these amazing communities.

As for exposure I simply have to trust that if I keep my blogging voice authentic, my content original and my support for other bloggers genuine they will feel that and gravitate towards my blog. If I need feedback or support I will simply ask for it, keeping it honest.

What’s one rule of engagement error you made and how have you remedied that?

Feeling insecure when I lost some followers. I remedied that by taking an objective look at my blog, improving what I felt could be better about it and moving on.


Dress, reworked maxi by H&M. Scarf and reworked vest by H&M. Shoes by Primark. Ring by Top Shop. Red owl, a gift a friend got for me in Hanoi.

Wide grin, thanks to the rays of spring.


The Friend Friday project by Modly Chic is a way for fashion bloggers to share more about themselves and create a friendly connection with other bloggers. Join the conversation by joining the Fashion Beauty Friend Friday Google Group.

If you would like to join this wonderful network but feel unsure of how it works be sure to check out the eminent post on just how to do the Friend Friday by the gloriously talented and savvy Grit and Glamour!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }

1 The Curvy FashionistaNo Gravatar
April 1, 2011 at 7:13 am

Your post made me smile! Thank you for sharing this with us! I am the biggest fan of guest bloggers! I see it is paying it forward and a great way to bring new perspectives to your audience!

Besides being so friggin cute in your OOTD posts, I really love you bringing this to the forefront! Get it darlin!
The Curvy Fashionista recently posted..Full Figured Fashion Week Schedule Released!My ComLuv Profile


byanika 2 byanikaNo Gravatar
April 1, 2011 at 6:03 pm

Darling Marie, thank you so much for stopping by! I really appreciate your kind words about my cuteness lol. I agree that guest blogging is a great thing, and I have been thinking about inviting bloggers to do it chez moi, so thank you for encouraging me. You are such a wonderful person and blogger. Big hugs for you sweetheart. xxx


3 SarahNo Gravatar April 1, 2011 at 7:18 am

I especially like that you point out commenting is being part of a conversation. I feel terrible for *other* people when I see they clearly haven’t read the text and just skimmed the pictures. Even more so when they then beg for a follow or comment immediately after. I’m in this for the community and meeting new people and I’d hope others like me are out there.
Sarah recently posted..Lady in RedMy ComLuv Profile


byanika 4 byanikaNo Gravatar
April 1, 2011 at 6:01 pm

I am glad that part resonated with you dear Sarah, that conversation is ultimately what the whole business of blogging is about for me. There are lots more out there like you and me, I am sure of it! Let`s go find them! :) xxxx


5 Berenice ParraNo Gravatar
April 1, 2011 at 7:23 am

It’s great that bloggers with experience such as your lovely self write these posts because there are a lot of bloggers out there (like me hehe) who are always on the lookout for new opportunities, new followers etc. and there are so many chances to fail at any attempt to get either! I’ve been lucky enough to learn from the example of so many educated, polite bloggers, like Casee, you, Daisybutter, SarahVon, etc. but it’s really very easy to slip. I agree 100% with what you say re: guest posts and comments. It is heartbreaking to find comments on a blog saying “nice post, follow me!”. Hopefully the word will get out there more and more about why that is the wrong approach to blog promoting. Thanks for writing this xoxox B. ;)
Berenice Parra recently posted..PhotoMy ComLuv Profile


byanika 6 byanikaNo Gravatar
April 1, 2011 at 6:00 pm

Bere, my dear, you are so sweet. Talented, beautiful and sweet. I am glad that you feel you can take something away from my blog and the other lovely bloggers you mention, I have learned so much by observing other bloggers that I respect as well. I have only been blogging about a year, and I have learned so much! Thank you so much for your comment. Big hugs! xxxx


7 fuyumeNo Gravatar April 1, 2011 at 9:26 am

Great answers Anika. i agree with everything you said and its so much fun getting to know other bloggers too xx
fuyume recently posted..Affordable Ethical Fashion–BibicoMy ComLuv Profile


byanika 8 byanikaNo Gravatar
April 1, 2011 at 5:58 pm

Thank you my dear! It really is all about getting to know each other, and it is such a wonderful thing. My life is richer for it! Hugs xx


9 MyFavouriteThingsNo Gravatar April 1, 2011 at 9:31 am

Hei Anika, gøy å lese svarene dine! Kjenner meg igjen i mye av det du skriver. Jeg prøver også å spre litt “blogger love” ved å omtale andre blogger på bloggen min, synes det er en fin måte å vise at man setter pris på sine medbloggere på! Ha en kjempefin fredag!
MyFavouriteThings recently posted..Friend Friday- Rules of EngagementMy ComLuv Profile


byanika 10 byanikaNo Gravatar
April 1, 2011 at 5:56 pm

Hei :) Så hyggelig! Det er så flott at du sprer the love du også :) jeg har begynt å sende en tweet til de bloggene jeg linker til slik at de får vite det, og det har fungert bra :) Håper du har en fin fredag og at helgen blir solfylt og deilig! Stor klem til deg fra meg xx


11 MadisonNo Gravatar
April 1, 2011 at 9:57 am

Oh Anika, you have such a wonderful heart & I enjoy reading your posts. You’re right, I agree with you especially about the “Approach leaving and answering comments as taking part in a conversation!” This is such a great community with blogging & sometimes if a blog doesn’t showcase too much of you personally (style-wise/visually)… commenting is another way to allow others to hear your voice & get to know you a bit more.
Thanks! *(oh, & I see those lovely shoes..I just adore!)
Madison recently posted..Pardon Me- Do You Have the TimeMy ComLuv Profile


byanika 12 byanikaNo Gravatar
April 1, 2011 at 5:55 pm

I can`t tell you how much I appreciate your words to me Madison-sweetheart! It is so lovely getting to know you! <3 xxxx


13 SACRAMENTONo Gravatar April 1, 2011 at 10:49 am

Such interesting answers Anika. I would love to join, but I do not want to commit myself to a long running project. I have tu run free and wild; although I love reading you ladies. hehehehe.
SACRAMENTO recently posted..New Platforms and Round the World project listMy ComLuv Profile


byanika 14 byanikaNo Gravatar
April 1, 2011 at 5:54 pm

My dear friend, Sacramento the wild spirit with the big heart, I totally understand. I take part in this if and when I can and feel I have something to contribute, but if I can`t do it for a while I hope people understand. Like you I am a free spirit, it is the Aquarius in me. Don`t tie me down, but invite me, and I will be loyal forever. Love you guapa. Hugs and besos xxxxxxxxxx


15 Mode PlusNo Gravatar
April 1, 2011 at 12:01 pm

It is all about authenticity, connection and relationships. You couldn’t have summarise it any better, Anika.
I owe my own blog growth to our connection, getting inspired by you to stay close to myself.
Sending you warm love from Rotterdam <3
Mode Plus recently posted..FBFF- Rules of EngagementMy ComLuv Profile


byanika 16 byanikaNo Gravatar
April 1, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Thank you so much sweetheart. I am moved reading that you are reminded to stay close to your self by being in contact with me. It doesn`t get more meaningful than that. Love, Anika <3


17 Monique ZumanNo Gravatar April 1, 2011 at 1:29 pm

I am loving leopard print at the moment and your shoes are really cute too!! I am looking out for a nice pair in Sydney!!

Monique xx


byanika 18 byanikaNo Gravatar
April 1, 2011 at 5:49 pm

Thank you Monique! I would love to see what shoes you find! Do you live in Sydney? It is a dream of mine to go there, was watching Oprah in Sydney recently and daydreaming of soaking up that amazing city. Hugs! xx Anika


19 OfeliaNo Gravatar April 1, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Blogging is about establishing relationships and there are some bloggers that prefers to have numbers (followers)
instead of having relationships!
Since I first read your blog, I realized how much I love your style and spirit and that’s why I always read, and
comment on your blog (as well as follow)!
I only take the time to read and comment on blogs that I connect with!
The post is lovely and the outfit is even lovelier!
Have a fantastic weekend!!!!
Ofelia recently posted..What Ive beingMy ComLuv Profile


byanika 20 byanikaNo Gravatar
April 1, 2011 at 5:48 pm

You are so right my dear Ofelia. I love your approach to reading, commenting and connecting in the bloggersphere. It is timeconsuming this business of blogging, so it does need to be meaningful to be worth while. Otherwise one can feel lost at sea.

Thank you so much again for your friendship! Will come visit you this weekend, am looking forward to it :) Love, Anika


21 GRIT & GLAMOURNo Gravatar
April 1, 2011 at 2:28 pm

I love your answers…so true! And you are the poster child for sincerity and community support. That’s why we all love you.

PS: Thanks for the link back to my blog!

GRIT & GLAMOUR recently posted..WVW- KORSAZRIAGUCCIMy ComLuv Profile


byanika 22 byanikaNo Gravatar
April 1, 2011 at 5:45 pm

That means a lot Vahni, thank you very much. I have you to thank for a lot of my blogger know how, so thank you for inspiring and sharing with us all. Love, A. xx


23 Charlie, Feminine BraveryNo Gravatar
April 1, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Great answers, and love that ring and the happiness in these photos!
Charlie, Feminine Bravery recently posted..Friend Friday- Blogger etiquetteMy ComLuv Profile


byanika 24 byanikaNo Gravatar
April 1, 2011 at 5:46 pm

Thank you sweet Charlie! xx


25 MarissaNo Gravatar
April 1, 2011 at 7:09 pm

Love your outfit! Follow me! Haha… I kid, I kid.

These are some great answers, and I think it’s something that we’ve all learned through experience. I think one of my biggest mistakes has been my impatience with bloggers who haven’t learned proper etiquette yet. I was totally clueless once too; I just have to keep that in mind.
Marissa recently posted..Spring Wish List- Red PantsMy ComLuv Profile


26 KrystleNo Gravatar April 1, 2011 at 8:10 pm

Wow, we had some really similar answers!! I am all about the relationship too!! that is just so key! It’s really easy to tell who just wants their blog noticed and who wants to get to know others!!

I really liked how you said to check spelling in emails!! Spelling and grammar/punctuation in emails and blog posts is a MUST! Sorry, I’m going off on a tangent, but I recently discovered a new blog and it seemed cool, but she had SO many spelling errors that I just closed the window. I literally couldn’t read anymore! Total bummer.
Great answers, girl!

FFF on Facebook | FFF on Twitter

Krystle recently posted..FBFF Rules of EngagementMy ComLuv Profile


27 myheartbloggedNo Gravatar
April 2, 2011 at 12:46 am

I love your advice. It is so much better to be yourself, and authentic than worry about followers. Building blogger relationsips is the best part of blogging, and I can say I have got great friends out of it.
myheartblogged recently posted..Outfit of the day 60 A little bit countryMy ComLuv Profile


28 KendraNo Gravatar
April 2, 2011 at 12:59 am

Great answers! I agree that it’s much better to just be yourself, and it’s easy to tell you have an established voice on your blog. That’s one thing I have trouble with; finding my “voice” or set writing style. I guess practice makes perfect, hey? :)

Keep up the good work!



29 KendraNo Gravatar
April 2, 2011 at 12:59 am

oooh! I was going to say, I have a pair of shoes almost exactly like the ones you’re wearing in these pics! They’re really cute.


30 KristinNo Gravatar
April 2, 2011 at 3:20 am

I enjoyed reading your thoughts on this. “Approach leaving and answering comments as taking part in a conversation!” Yes, yes, YES! You put it perfectly.

BTW, I love how you combined the same animal print, but in different colors/scale. Rawr!
Kristin recently posted..Friend Friday- Rules of EngagementMy ComLuv Profile


31 kristyNo Gravatar
April 2, 2011 at 8:55 am

i love this topic so much! katy consistently outdoes herself with the topics she chooses.

wonderful answers anika, but i would have expected no less from you. you’re a networking guru! it’s so amazing seeing you interact online and it makes me so happy. you have one of the best personalities in the blogosphere and the support you show people is inspiring.

thanks for the shout out by the way! that was really sweet of you. =)

Kristy Eléna – Full Time Fabulous
Vogue Gone Rogue
Twitter: @kristyelena

Follow Full Time Fabulous on Bloglovin’
kristy recently posted..the importance of fashion bloggingMy ComLuv Profile


32 YvonnaLiviannaNo Gravatar
April 2, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Love that dress!!!! You have killer style darling and I love Kristy as well, these new communities and forums for bloggers are great! It connects so many different people from all over the world.



33 KristinNo Gravatar
April 2, 2011 at 4:48 pm

Excellent answers! Blogs are most definitely an interactive medium and without reciprocity where would we be?
Kristin recently posted..Designer Crush- Ella MossMy ComLuv Profile


34 Kirstin MarieNo Gravatar
April 2, 2011 at 8:42 pm

I really love these questions this week. You are so right in saying that your intentions need to stay true when reaching out to others. Honesty is the best way!

Kirstin Marie recently posted..Send in the houndsthe clothes hounds- that isMy ComLuv Profile


35 KatieNo Gravatar
April 4, 2011 at 4:22 am

Absolutely agree that comments are a conversation! That’s a great way to look at it.
Katie recently posted..Lightning CrashesMy ComLuv Profile


Leave a Comment

CommentLuv Enabled

Previous post:

Next post: