Sexy is a state of mind

by byanika on 17/06/2011 · 80 comments

in By Anika,leopard,ruffles

Hi sweethearts!

There was a time when I felt that I needed to dress in an overtly sexual way to be sexy. Now I know that sexy is a state of mind.

Knowing my self is sexy. Being in the moment is sexy. Bravery is sexy. Dancing is sexy. Walking with oooomph is sexy. Sharing my emotions is sexy. Humour about my self is sexy. Asking for what I want is sexy. Not apologizing for who I am is sexy.

I have found that I love wearing clothes that are relaxed, that are flowy and not necessarily figure hugging. I wear clothes that hightlight me.

Lord knows I have been blessed with curves all over the place (watch me walk and I will give you a symphony of curves in motion), and I do feel comfortable and va va voom in that grown up x-rated-cherub-sort of way, but I know that I don`t need curves to be sexy.

Look into my eyes, read my truth about my self, and you will find a passionate and self aware woman with a zest for life. Call out for la bomba and I will answer you.

I sometimes loose the moment of being fully present though and break into laughter about my self, feeling shy. I have learned not to let this bother me, sweet can be sexy too.

Do you know what turns me on?

Confidence. Honesty. Depth. Playfulness. Intensity. And big hands.

The outfit: I sewed this dress from a scarf and pieces of dresses. The neckless, earrings and bling is Top Shop and H&M.

Tell me sweethearts, what makes you feel sexy?

 

 

 I would love to connect with you!

 anikack@gmail.com   @AnikaByAnika   Facebook

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{ 69 comments… read them below or add one }

1 ClaireNo Gravatar June 17, 2011 at 6:13 pm

Being witty and sharp makes me feel sexy. That verbal sparring does it for me every time. When it comes to material matters… perfume. Smelling good gives me lots of confidence.

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2 AnikaNo Gravatar
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June 19, 2011 at 12:13 am

Oh darling, I so agree! That gets me every time too. And I do love a nice perfume, ah yes. Hugs!
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3 JamillahNo Gravatar
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June 17, 2011 at 6:32 pm

Me too!!! Oh sorry you have no idea what I’m talking about, lol. I don’t love curve hugging clothing-I do NOT feel sexy in that. I feel sexy in short skirts and easy clothes and a rare high heel. I feel sexy dancing.

I love your take on sexy…there’s so much to feeling sexy than just showing your “girls” or putting on a bright lippie. It’s in attitude and confidence.

P.S. You are a beautiful laughing.

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4 AnikaNo Gravatar
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June 19, 2011 at 12:14 am

Honey, you are are hot! Attitude and confidence, yes please, come to MAMA! Love, Anika
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5 MJNo Gravatar
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June 17, 2011 at 6:51 pm

You. work.it.girl!!

You are right. Sexy is all about state of mind and really being yourself. I remember in my college days I had a rebel moment and decided to go to the club in nothing but shorts, a tank top, a visor, and sneakers. I pulled more numbers that night than any other when I got all dolled up and that was because I really didn’t care about anything except getting my dance on! LOL

What makes me feel sexy?
A pair of pumps with a high, stiletto heel. I can be wearing pajama pants and I could put on a heel and I’m a diva. You have to have a powerful walk when you walk in heels (otherwise you’ll kill yourself!) LOL
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byanika 6 byanikaNo Gravatar
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June 17, 2011 at 7:55 pm

I. Sure. Will! LOL Darling, I have no trouble believing you pulled in truckloads. You can pull me anytime ;D Love, Anika

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7 FASHION TALESNo Gravatar
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June 17, 2011 at 6:52 pm

I like your perspective! I love that laughing photo of you, & enjoy a good laugh myself. Sometimes I feel sexy with a plain Tee & jeans or in comfy PJs, haha! I loved this,”watch me walk and I will give you a symphony of curves in motion.” For me, I think when we do feel sexy & confident the sounds that we make when wearing our garments are absolute sweet melodies… which is indeed good music to my ears! So keep on playing, dear! xxoo
Madison
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byanika 8 byanikaNo Gravatar
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June 17, 2011 at 7:54 pm

Sweet melodies indeed my darling! I go to your site and I hear soultry jazz! YUM! Love you, hugs.

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byanika 9 byanikaNo Gravatar
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June 19, 2011 at 12:57 am

Babe, I can`t comment on Disqus, but I love your latest look! Such a great combo of colours. Hugs!

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10 ConsiderMeLovelyNo Gravatar
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June 17, 2011 at 7:21 pm

You have no idea how I can relate to this!!! I used to feel like I always had to wear very fitted clothes to feel and be sexy, but as you may have noticed, I love flowy skirts, skirts and shorts that cover my thighs, and looser tops. Don’t get me wrong, I adore a good skinny Jean or pant and think others look great in the booty shorts and mini skirts, but that’s not how I define my sexy anymore!

What is sexy to me?

Smiling, eyeglasses, confidence, being ladylike, sweetness, humility, positivity, and a great pair of heels!

I couldn’t agree more, sexy is a state of mind, not a state of what society says.
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byanika 11 byanikaNo Gravatar
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June 17, 2011 at 7:53 pm

Honey, you are one sex bomb. Yes you are. I rather fancy you! Mwuah!!

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12 SACRAMENTONo Gravatar June 17, 2011 at 7:44 pm

You are absolutely LA BOMBA. I agree with everything, but that my friend you already know…
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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byanika 13 byanikaNo Gravatar
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June 17, 2011 at 7:52 pm

I do know, and I don`t mind telling you that you are one soultry woman too. But you knew that, I know. Love you sweetheart! xx <3

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14 Lauren NicoleNo Gravatar
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June 17, 2011 at 7:56 pm

You are so right Anika! Sexy is definitely a state of mind! It’s how you feel in the clothes!

My dearest Anika, I need your help to further my dreams! Check out my latest blog post. Thanks.
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15 AnikaNo Gravatar
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June 19, 2011 at 12:15 am

Honey, I voted for you. Go you! <3
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16 ag.No Gravatar
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June 17, 2011 at 8:30 pm

“Knowing my self is sexy.” AGREED!
I think confidence is such a sexy thing. When confident people walk into a room, they certainly get noticed, regardless of their physique or style.
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17 AnikaNo Gravatar
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June 19, 2011 at 12:15 am

YES! I so agree, it is that it-factor. Hugs!
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18 CharlieNo Gravatar
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June 17, 2011 at 8:43 pm

oh yes. Sexy is having that confident walk, sexy is a look in the eye and sexy is knowing your worth! and I’m feeling damn fine today! ;)

xxx
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19 AnikaNo Gravatar
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June 19, 2011 at 12:16 am

And you are looking damn fine too! You are hot, Charlie. MMMMHMMMM!
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20 ElleNo Gravatar
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June 17, 2011 at 11:38 pm

Have I told you lately that I love you? seriously, honey, you’re amazing. And this post was so great. I totally agree – it’s about the confidence.
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21 AnikaNo Gravatar
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June 19, 2011 at 12:16 am

You have, but I love hearing it again! lol. And I love you right back you sassy thing you. Mwuah!
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22 FashnlvrNo Gravatar
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June 18, 2011 at 1:57 am

Confidence is the sexiest thing you can own and you exude scads of confidence! I feel best when I walk like I own the room, or the sidewalk or wherever I may be. Not in a snooty way, just like I belong and have every right to be there. :)
Since I love the symphony – it always gives me great pleasure to visit you hear and drink in the music you make! Hugs!!
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23 AnikaNo Gravatar
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June 19, 2011 at 12:17 am

Honey, I imagine the room stops when you walk into it. I know you would have my full attention for sure! <3 I love OUR music my friend. Love you! <3

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24 Casee MarieNo Gravatar June 18, 2011 at 3:12 am

La la la la la la la bomba! That laughing picture is pure, blissful, unadulterated beauty. You’re radiant, Anika love!

I never feel sexy, really. Is that odd? At the most I’ll feel pretty. Sometimes. If I do my make-up right (ha). So I can’t say I know what makes me feel sexy because…I guess I haven’t figured it out yet? I’d imagine a pair of Louboutins would do the trick! But I do absolutely agree, sexy is a state of mind. And sometimes the way you’re feeling inside just flows out into the world for everyone else to see. It’s a little scary, maybe that’s why it takes some people so long to finally feel comfortable in their own skin. But I know you give me the motivation to learn to love myself to the fullest!
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25 AnikaNo Gravatar
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June 19, 2011 at 12:20 am

Sweetheart, you are pretty indeed, and I do find you sexy! I am not trying to hit on you (unless you want me too) but I have a feeling you will discover your sexiness after a while. :) A good pair of heels and a confident sway of the hips will do very nicely. Are we seriously seing each other in NY? That will be a dream come true, nothing less. Keep getting to know your self, my love, all you need is within you. I love and adore you and support you, always! <3

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26 TerriNo Gravatar June 18, 2011 at 4:28 am

La Bomba, I find big hands sexy too!
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27 AnikaNo Gravatar
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June 19, 2011 at 12:20 am

My kind of woman. Oh yes. Mwuah!
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28 MetsyNo Gravatar
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June 18, 2011 at 6:15 am

I love the way you express yourself! It’s a good reminder to me that I need to let my walls down… a lil at a time perhaps. ;) Go sexy girl! So many great nuggets of humor and wisdom in this post, I can barely pick a favorite. :)
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29 AnikaNo Gravatar
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June 19, 2011 at 12:22 am

Sweetheart, I am so glad you enjoyed the post! Getting to know you is such a treat, truly. Yes, take your time letting your walls down. I am very selective, but when I invite a man all the way into my life I don`t hold back. Watch out! Oh dear lol. Love, Anika
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30 Berlin Hair BabyNo Gravatar
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June 18, 2011 at 9:48 am

very fun post, anika! you have the most beautiful eyes. let’s see, sexy. a good night’s rest (I wake up strong and open to new possibilities) a clear, focused argument, white summer sun dresses, zumba class, XXL eyelashes.
have a beautiful saturday, BHB

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31 AnikaNo Gravatar
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June 19, 2011 at 12:24 am

Yay! So glad you enjoyed it my darling. I love your list of sexy. And you know I have a soft spot for YOU! I hope your Saturday was lovely, I`ve been walking the streets in my snake dress. Wait, that didn`t sound right LOL Hugs to you!
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32 GRIT & GLAMOURNo Gravatar
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June 18, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Damn, straight sexy is a state of mind! Confidence is 90% of it. When you’ve got that, when you believe in yourself, your worth, it DOES make others believe in you too!

kiss kiss La Bomba
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33 AnikaNo Gravatar
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June 19, 2011 at 12:26 am

Honey, put us together and you`ve got dynamite! You are such an amazing woman Vahni, I can`t wait to enjoy you in person. Love you, you confident, beautiful, voulnerable, funny, strong thing you. Mwuah!
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34 ZoeNo Gravatar
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June 18, 2011 at 2:55 pm

I love your blog and I agree with what you’re writing about :) it’s so good to see a message like this on a fashion blog! I love your necklace too :) x x
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35 AnikaNo Gravatar
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June 19, 2011 at 12:26 am

Zoe sweetheart, I am so glad my intention behind blogging speaks to you. Thank you so much for your feedback! Hugs.
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36 Ellen WilbergNo Gravatar June 18, 2011 at 3:54 pm

You are so right!
Some days I feel really confident, I walk with my back straight and I look people in the eye. And I KNOW that Im sexy then. I even know other people notice it. Ive been told I have a buttload of charm. But other days I just want to slink into a corner and be invisible. Gotta admit I do prefer the confident days ;)
I actually find a slight bit of arrogance sexy. Arrogance, confidence, charm, personality, wit..and big hands! haha. YUM.

Keep inspiring me, and so many others ^^
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37 AnikaNo Gravatar
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June 19, 2011 at 12:28 am

Honey, I am so looking forward to strutting down the street with you! I have to work on my confidence many times each day, it doesn`t come easy, but it is so worth the work. On the good days it is all eyes twinkeling and watch OUT! lol. Klem til deg fra meg.
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38 Vanessa, Take only MemoriesNo Gravatar
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June 18, 2011 at 4:12 pm

You go girl! You’re absolutely right! I’m still finding it difficult to be confident but I totally agree!
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39 AnikaNo Gravatar
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June 19, 2011 at 12:29 am

Vanessa my lovely, being confident is so hard, don`t you think? It is harder that not being confident I find, because I have to dare to believe in my self, be voulnerable to be confident. I work at it each and every day. Go you! Hugs.
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40 ShybikerNo Gravatar June 18, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Those are good preferences. I’m attracted to humor, based on intelligence.
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41 AnikaNo Gravatar
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June 18, 2011 at 4:45 pm

I completely agree! That gets me every time too. Sweetheart, I want to tweet one of your posts, what is your twitter handle? xx
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42 ShybikerNo Gravatar June 19, 2011 at 4:55 am

Shybiker1234 And thanks!
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byanika 43 byanikaNo Gravatar
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June 19, 2011 at 10:56 am

It is my absolute pleasure. Hugs to you Ally!

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44 JenmarieNo Gravatar
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June 18, 2011 at 8:25 pm

“There was a time when I felt that I needed to dress in an overtly sexual way to be sexy. Now I know that sexy is a state of mind.”

Thank you, dear Anika! I feel like every girl and woman needs to read that statement for so many reasons! Females these days tend to show too much and they don’t realize it’s only going to attract negative attention. Feeling sexy and dressing sexy are two totally different things I think.

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45 AnikaNo Gravatar
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June 19, 2011 at 12:33 am

Sweetheart, I couldn`t agree with you more. In fact, this is what is what I try to instill in the teens I work with. I love you JenMarie, hope you know that. Happy weekend, beautiful!
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46 THE-LOUDMOUTHNo Gravatar
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June 19, 2011 at 2:16 am

You’re amazing. One day I want to wear one of your dresses.
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47 AmbujiNo Gravatar June 19, 2011 at 2:22 am

Anika we are so on the same wavelength and even think the same things. I too just wrote on a similar theme. I absolutely agree with you that you need to wear clothes that highlight YOU!! After all WE need to be comfortable in our skins! You my dear have the right amount of curves and will definitely watch the walk one of these days LOL! You look gorgeous when you laugh at yourself! You are beautiful with curves and loose flowy dress because you have a beautiful heart.
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48 OfeliaNo Gravatar June 19, 2011 at 5:09 am

Anika, sexy is state of mind and spirit and has nothing to do with size, color, age or gender. Sexy comes from within and it shows thru not matter if we are wearing loose comfortable clothing or showing a bit of cleavage.
Love the photo of you laughing and that necklace is fabulous!

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byanika 49 byanikaNo Gravatar
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June 19, 2011 at 10:40 am

Ofelia, my love, what is your twitter handle! I always want to share quotes of your comments on Twitter, you leave such amazing ones. Love you Ofelia, you soulful, warm, generous, beautiful thing you. Will visit you soon! Hugs.

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50 KaraNo Gravatar
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June 19, 2011 at 6:00 am

Preach! So true.. I completely agree.
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51 poetNo Gravatar June 19, 2011 at 11:31 am

I absolutely agree with what you said. That dress looks very cool, and your “giggly face” is just so cute! What makes me feel sexy, and what I find sexy in others, is being competent, feeling confident, and without the need to brag… dancing helps too :)
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52 OfeliaNo Gravatar June 19, 2011 at 5:41 pm

Anika you can always share my comments, its an honor for me that you find them “amazing” !
I don’t use twitter because I can barely find the time to blog right now; maybe in the future I’ll began to use it.
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53 vanessaNo Gravatar
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June 19, 2011 at 8:32 pm

I think knowing yourself, and loving who you are is sexy. I feel sexiest when I’m just laying in bed cuddled up to my boyfriend, and when someone loves you unconditionally it is super sexy.
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54 BeckyNo Gravatar
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June 20, 2011 at 10:27 am

You. Are. Adorable.
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55 Laura ConnellNo Gravatar June 20, 2011 at 4:25 pm

I can relate to this one, big time! I used to dress in an overtly sexy way, too, and now don’t let clothes overshadow the real me. “Asking for what you want is sexy.” That’s my favourite and something I’ve learned to do. I sometimes beat myself up when my shyness gets the better of me and your words have reminded me it’s ok not to be perfect.
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56 FrancaNo Gravatar
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June 22, 2011 at 1:09 pm
57 Alexis of North On HarperNo Gravatar June 23, 2011 at 6:17 pm

Thank you so much for this Anika. I so often feel awkward– anything but sexy! I sit there and analyze myself in my head…. I need to learn to let go!
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58 CateNo Gravatar
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June 24, 2011 at 1:58 am

i’m so glad you posted this. i have HUGE boobs. and i’ve kind of always displayed them because i feel like i have to, but i have this dress where the neckline comes all the way up and for some reason i’ve never felt sexier than i do when i’m wearing it. it felt weird not having my bosom in the street as they say, but it gave me so much more time to think about actually BEING sexy instead of LOOKING sexy.
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59 Heather FonsecaNo Gravatar
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June 24, 2011 at 5:50 am

You’re so right Anika, sexy is a state of mind. I feel sexiest when I feel good about myself. Often this is right after a long walk and I’m sweaty and yucky, but I feel great!

Love,
Heather

P.S. congrats on the IFB links a la mode!
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60 Miss RockwellNo Gravatar
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June 24, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Being confident in who I am-an all natural, down to earth, intelligent, honest, loyal, giving, openhearted type of gal-makes me feel super sexy!!

http://thriftyandshameless.blogspot.com
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61 perditaNo Gravatar June 27, 2011 at 10:40 am

Hear hear, very true!!

People assume that ‘sexy’ means curves, and I find that rather demeaning. I can imagine for those without the front-furniture it might make them think they cannot be sexy and that’s just not true.

Women of all ages, body shapes and styles are sexy: what I find is all are confident and seem to be clear about their own style/life (be it ‘classy or brassy’) rather than what others want – even if they are conventional you get the sense that’s what THEY want to be. I think it’s evolutionary really, I guess back in the primitive days having a ‘mate’ who was emotionally robust and confident (and thus doing the best for any potential children during war, famine or being cased by mammoths!) was important- so now it’s something our genes crave! Shame society doesn’t see it that way – the media and government mammoths (and before that, many religions and social classes) would rather have us meekly following. But ‘wet blanket’ has never been sexy – not in a Victorian novel (Wuthering Heights anyone?) and not nowadays.

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62 CorinneNo Gravatar
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June 27, 2011 at 4:13 pm

So true, doll!! I think we feel out sexiest when are confident in being ourselves :)

Corinne xo
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63 Madeline QuaintNo Gravatar June 27, 2011 at 8:45 pm

What makes me feel sexy? When I see something of me reflected in a man’s eye that I wasn’t even sure was me. So many men can’t see more than what you catch glimpse of at first sight – at first sight I’m more quirky than sexy, more girly than womanly. I love that moment of surprise when a man cares to look a bit deeper and is intrigued – that’s a totally sexy moment!

Thank you for the great, well-written, thought-provoking post, Anika! (Your dress is superb, by the way! :)
You fellow LALM blogger,
Madeline
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64 IdStyleNo Gravatar June 29, 2011 at 4:12 am

AGREED – sexy is so a state of mind and relies heavily on confidence!!
Personally, I feel sexiest when I am wearing something more flowing as well, overly tight clothing, tends to make me feel a uncomfortable and that is not a sexy state to be in. Thanks for sharing!
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65 Fabienne JachNo Gravatar
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July 2, 2011 at 7:02 am

Feeling healthy and well-rested makes me feel sexy. They contribute to everything I put out into the world. Although sometimes a mini-skirt and high heels do the trick, but they’re not what make me feel sexy. That’s the adornment on top of the sexy!

Anika, you’re just peachy! In a La Bomba kind of way. I feel we’re friends in the universal way:)
xoxo, f
The House in the Clouds
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byanika 66 byanikaNo Gravatar
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July 12, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Honey, that is exactely how I feel about you as well. And you know, I don`t believe in accidents. Like I told you before, I knew you would be significant to me when I first landed on your lovely blog. Hugs to you! Ps, I think of you every time I make tabouli :)

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67 Sally ThompsonNo Gravatar September 23, 2011 at 7:43 am

I really love your necklace here.. Hope I can learn how to make my own necklace too! :)
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68 Jewellery OnlineNo Gravatar
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March 8, 2012 at 12:08 pm

So many gorgeous dresses, so little time. This year in Oscar fashion there was truly something for everyone to love. Sexy get up :) )

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69 BibianaNo Gravatar March 3, 2013 at 1:17 am

“Sexy is state of mind”, best slogan of recent times. I really love what you write. I feel like it was something I had written. Something I write. Something I think.

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